Patrick Brealey

10. There is likely an algo­rithm indi­cat­ing how I can mys­te­ri­ously cre­ate enough spare time to watch 17 suc­ces­sive videos of ani­mals talk­ing in funny voices

9. I don’t speak with the peo­ple I really want to speak with often enough

8. Every­one I know is in a band and/​or has new­born babies

7. While it seems like it would take more energy to type it than the amount of energy some­one implies they pos­sess, I sup­pose it is worth let­ting every­one you know that, well, “ugh”

6. Some­times it feels nice to give some­one a thumbs up

5. If you are think­ing about get­ting a pet you should prob­a­bly think about get­ting a cat because they are hilarious!

4. Some peo­ple don’t like show­ing their own face but are happy to show you every angle of their child’s face. Everyday.

3. Humans have a nat­ural incli­na­tion to vent when: they have to wait on hold for a long time with their cell­phone provider; they get cut off in traf­fic; and when Face­book has the nerve to go and change some­thing on its own website.

2. Face­book can be really useful

1. U R hawt!! WOWEEEEE